Since the age of 12 I have struggled with migraines. Through
my adolescence and early adulthood they have morphed and changed. From the
beginning I struggled with that woozy feeling and then a splitting headache. I
would trudge through the pain trying to go to school, play in sports and combat
my homework, often giving in the pain and nausea before the nights end. Today,
a migraine is much more complex, with an debilitating aura, neurological
symptoms, and pain that is so intolerable that I often resort to emergency
medical care. The journey through my
migraines has become one of awareness and one that has helped me build a strong
relationship with my own Mother, who has struggled with migraines her entire
life also.
My Mother has always been there to help with a cold
compress, soothing words and advice. When my migraines started becoming much
more serious here in the past two years she was the first to help me with
vitamins, trigger searches, and most of all the support that I was not alone.
For many, a migraine is something that they will never
experience, or only experience one or two times in their life. I often envy
those who can say they don’t understand my pain. I keep an optimistic outlook
that one of the many (and I mean many) medications will work, or that maybe
these migraines will “suddenly” retreat never to be seen again. Those who
surround me closest are my biggest fans, but those who simply do not understand
are often my worst enemies. The feeling of not knowing what might happen from
day to day (or how I will feel, or when a migraine will set in) is like a veil –
a horrible dark veil that encases me in a little bit of trepidation.
As many migraine sufferers have expressed, we see a variety
of responses to our illness. Often it is a look of disbelief that we cannot “simply
work through the pain” but worse yet are those who don’t understand the
neurological symptoms that take over and stop me in my tracks.
I am optimistic that I can find a solution, a cure for my
migraines. I do not wish to be pitied, or to be pushed off to the side as
someone who simply has a disability. I know that I am strong, able and most of all
a bit feisty. As someone in the
education field, I feel that it only natural that I express, educate and collaborate
to make things better for myself, and others who suffer from the pain. Most of
all I hope to see the day when my own Mother and I can lead a life, not having
to worry about the next migraine attack.
Without the help of my Mother, I would be completely lost in
a sea of information from neurologists, ear, nose and throat specialists and
that information that I have read and gained through my own careful research.
She has helped me through her own experiences and together we hope that one day
we can find a cure for the invisible illness that we both struggle so much
with.
