Breaking the Stigma of Chronic Pain…Slowly

Meet one of the newest loves of my life...Rocko...aka Rocket!

So today I had a follow up appointment with my neurologist. I had a number of things I wanted to talk to her about, and get her opinion on. The biggest thing that I have been struggling with (aside from the neuro systems and pain) has been extreme tiredness and generalized fatigue.  My depression scale today was a 17 (compared to last month a 13).  Mood-wise I feel much better, but my neurologist believes that my extreme fatigue is a result of my depression.

I know..I can’t believe I admitted it – I’m suffering from depression. It’s such a stigma – that I could simply cheer up and “be better”.  I suffer from depression as a result of my chronic illness. The migraines that have taken over my life, are now also taking over my mood, emotion, and inner motivational drive. I force myself up, I manage through the day, come home exhausted, and start over again. My mind moves a mile a minute with things I want to accomplish, but my body says no.

The stigma that depression is just something that can be fixed isn’t true. Just like migraines its different for each person, complicated by medications, dosage, constant changes to said medications and a battle of try and see if it works.

I have been fortunate that the Botox treatment I received June 13^th seems to have reduced my overall migraines by almost 50% - but unfortunately it has not helped the severity or most of the nero symptoms that go along with it. My neurologist also prescribed me some medication to help with the fatigue, and we are working on a dietician that can help work with my GERD and IBS in a way that avoid triggers and helps me feel better.  I feel blessed to have those few days back into my life, and hopeful that I can keep improving and fighting against it!

While depression may seem like a dirty little word, or something that should remain unspoken – please remember, as the commercial says “depression hurts”. My addition is, please do not allow your loved ones to suffer, and most of all….support them. There are many of us who are not drug seekers, not attention-seekers - but ordinary people put into extraordinary circumstances. We want to feel normal, we want our migraines to go away, and we want to enjoy life to the fullest – join us in the fight!

Post Botox Treatment

Well it has been a little over a month since I have received my Botox treatment! The first few weeks were a little rough as my body adjusted (body aches in example). However, after about 6-7 regular to above regular pain days I thought for sure this was never going to work and prepared my arsenal in hope of better days ahead. After  the first week I slowly started to notice that my migraines were less frequent and less intense!

I have also been working hard to maintain my diet, exercise, and level of stress. July 4-9^th I had the biggest test so far of my treatment. 240 people, 5 days, 4-H Camp! I took all the possible supplies I might need, and prayed hard that I would not need them. Through rain, a little thunder, and humidity my health was trialed, but I survived without a large migraine or more than a little loss of function.

My job is often high-demanding this time of year with camp, and then followed directly by our judging for 4-H projects. I was delighted to find that I wasn’t plagued with migraines, but just a post camp sinus infection and double ear infection. Since then I have been feeling “slower” than normal, but my pain is limited. I feel like I’m beginning to see what it might be like to have my life back!

I was able to help raise a little over $200.00 for the CMA group. I felt accomplished sending that check to them! I’m hoping to find more ways to support the CMA group and help document my journey through migraine treatments.

I am somewhat anxious about how It will be as the Botox wears off before my next treatment. I’ll be sure to continue documenting my journey on here and with the others from the CMA group.